The Wrong Yamani
by Tamfict23
Summary: Under Revision: Neal realises that he chose the wrong Yamani, but it's a little late now. How can he drop Yuki without being killed by his father? Can he convince Kel he loves her? Rating may change later.
1. Revised: Can't You See?

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Don't like it? Don't read it.  
  
Keladry of Mindelan walked stealthily up the steep hill to her bed quarters. The very same ones she stayed in as a page. The only things that had changed since those times were her gaining her knighthood, and that Lalasa didn't live with her anymore.  
  
Kel entered her room. She immediately headed for the full tub losing items of clothing along the way. Gods help me, it is boiling out there, she thought to herself.  
  
She sank into the tub, and promptly fell asleep.  
  
In the bath.  
  
Which was not smart.  
  
Kel saw him flailing his arms hardly able to stay afloat. She immediately jumped into the water swimming out to reach him. She couldn't just let him drown. He suddenly stopped drowning and looked at her with his piercing green eyes and said the three most shocking words she'd ever heard.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Kel awoke with a start. Splashing water everywhere, she stumbled out the bath, which had long since gone cold. She shivered uncontrollably looking for her bathrobe. What was that?! What was Neal doing in my dream pretending to drown? She wondered confusedly.  
  
There was a knock at the door.  
  
"Kel! Open up, it's Neal! I've been knocking for ages!"  
  
Neal, just the person I need to see right now, she said to herself.  
  
"Neal, wait a second. I need to get dressed."  
  
She pulled on her clothes that had been strewn around the room as fast as she could.  
  
Obviously it wasn't fast enough because the door suddenly swung open. Low and behold, there stood Nealan of Queenscove eyes fixed on Kel's half naked body.  
  
"Uuhh," He managed.  
  
"Neal, unless you wish to be castrated, I suggest you close that door and TURN AROUND!" She yelled at him.  
  
"Uuhhuuuhh..." Neal said as he turned around, cheeks very red and shut the door silently.  
  
Kel finished pulling her clothes on and tapped him on the shirt.  
  
"It's ok, I'm decent."  
  
Neal turned around as crimson as ever and stared at his feet, which had become absolutely fascinating. To him, at least.  
  
"Kel, I th-thought you s-said 'I'm in distress.'" He stuttered.  
  
"Oh Neal get over it. It's not like you've never seen a woman without a shirt before. There's no difference," Kel scolded.  
  
"Yeah, but you're Kel. There's tons of difference."  
  
"No, there isn't. Did you come here for a reason other than to gawk at my half dressed figure?"  
  
"Umm... yes, I did. I wanted to know if you wanted to be my partner at the ball tomorrow."  
  
"Neal, you of all people know I don't like going to balls."  
  
"I'll make it worth your while..." He smiled cheekily at her.  
  
Well he seems to have gotten over it, at least. Maybe I should go with him, as friends. What's the harm? She contemplated in her head.  
  
"What do I get out of this?" Kel asked him.  
  
"An unforgettable night with the wonderful, sexy Sir Neal." He said puffing out his chest. A rather impressive chest that other women found very attractive. Kel just laughed at his ego.  
  
"Ahuh. You mean the brain damaged, hearing impaired Sir Meathead." He groaned at the nickname.  
  
"Ok. Fine. You win. I'll... umm... groom Peachblossom for you." He said.  
  
"He'd probably bite your hand off."  
  
"True... I'd rather keep my hand. I'll... I'll... What have you never done before?" He asked her. "Well, I've never flown. Never died. Never traveled the world in 80 days. Never been inside a whale. Never been kissed—" She clapped her hand over mouth. Why did I say that??  
  
She removed her hand and eased her expression into her notoriously known 'lump face' other wise known as her Yamani Mask.  
  
Neal grinned mischievously and winked at her after his initial moment of shock.  
  
"Well then. There's your answer. I'll teach you how to kiss like a pro, and you'll go to the ball with me."  
  
"Who said I want to kiss you, Meathead? And why is it you're so eager to get me to go to the ball?" Kel asked suspiciously.  
  
"Well, Cleon bet that I couldn't get you to go, let alone with me, and I bet that I could. Please? For your one and only Meathead?"  
  
Kel sighed resignedly and accepted her fate.  
  
"Fine Neal. I'll go to the ball with you. But I am so not wearing a dress. So dream on."  
  
"Oh, but that's one of the conditions. You have to come dressed as a court lady."  
  
Kel groaned and let her head drop against the wall with a soft thud.  
  
"Pick you up at 8. Thanks Kel" He said with an evil grin.  
  
Neal enveloped her in a bear hug. He walked out of the room.  
  
What have I gotten myself into this time?  
  
A/N: Yup. So I'm finally getting around to re-writing this thing... This chapter isn't really different. And it has been pointed out to me that Kel has indeed been kissed before, but for the well-being of this story's plot line (if it even HAS one. . .) the relationship between Kel and Cleon never happened. And neither did the 4th book. Because I still haven't read it. Gah. I'm such a bad fan. Ah, well. 


	2. Revised: A Wife and an Evil Horse Both o...

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Related to Protector of the Small anyway. I own other stuff. Like a floor. And a computer. And I do believe I have a bed. And a pack of gum around here somewhere. . .  
  
It was quarter to 8 and Kel was in knots. She was wearing a dress. Kel. With a dress! What was the world coming to? How had she ever agreed to do this? After knowing Neal for years, one would think that she'd be able to resist his pleading eyes. But no.  
  
Kel smiled warmly at the thought. But what would he think of her in a dress? What if he thought her thighs were too meaty, or her shoulders too muscled? What if he thought she was ugly?  
  
It was thoughts like these that kept Kel in knots. She didn't understand why these thoughts were surfacing. It's almost as if she wanted to be accepted as a woman in Neal's eyes. She had gotten over her crush on Neal ages ago. What was happening? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good for their friendship. This she was sure of.  
  
Kel paced up and down her room until there was a knock on her door. Nealan of Queenscove was standing on the other side, impatiently waiting for Kel to open the door. He wanted to prove Cleon wrong and get the night over with.  
  
Kel opened the door slowly, hiding behind it for as long as possible. She shut the door and stood while Neal inspected her. Eyes wide, mouth open.  
  
"You sure clean up well." He drawled, eyes sparkling with something unidentifiable yet rather disconcerting.  
  
"Why thank you Sir Meathead, you don't look too bad yourself."  
  
Neal was amazed. Kel, HIS Kel was looking good. Really good. The nearly motherly friend of his who always made him eat his vegetables. And she looked like a woman. When did she become a woman? He remembered the spit fire kid he had befriended her first year. But she grew up. Not that she was any less spit fire-y, but a woman. How had he missed it?  
  
Neal was watching Kel rather closely. It was rather disconcerting.  
  
'What is he looking at? Do I look horrible?'  
  
Kel quickly swallowed the lump in her throat, put on her infamous Yamani mask and walked past Neal. Her shoulder brushed his and shivers ran all along her arm spreading through out the rest of her body.  
  
'What was that?'  
  
This was no longer Kel, his 'sexless' friend. This was now Keladry of Mindelan, Lady Knight. His best friend. A woman. A pretty woman. A woman he felt he barely knew anymore. How in Mithros' name had he missed it?!  
  
"Yes, well we should be going now. Come along Meathead or there will be no ball for you. No winning a bet either."  
  
"Yes, yes. Right you are. My lady." He held out his arm and Kel seized it. They walked out the room. Kel locked it and they were off to the ball. Kel fleetingly hoped that things would not turn out too badly tonight.  
  
A/N: Looking back at what I wrote, it was all rather crude. One of the lines had been "How will I survive dancing with her at the ball without getting a hard on?" And I'm thinking. . . So Neal goes from "Hello Kel, my best friend whom I still consider a guy," to "HOW YOU DOIN'? Raar. Les get naked!" So I'm gonna let Neal realise that she's a woman first. And yeah... Gonna try to make this all a bit more plausible. s 


	3. Revised: Neal Wants to Practise WHAT?

Disclaimer: I don't own them, and it's a pity.  
  
Neal was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. But he was failing miserably. Thoughts of Kel were swimming around his head. Along with her were thoughts of his failing relationship. In the next room was his wife. His wife! Not beside him in bed, but in the next room.  
  
He didn't understand how things had gone so awry. He and Yuki had gotten along so famously before the wedding. Even after the wedding. But he just. . . couldn't bring himself to bed her.  
  
Which is why she is currently not speaking with him.  
  
He didn't know what to do. He didn't understand why Yuki was so mad.  
  
In his mind's eye, Neal could see Kel. Kel fighting by his side. Kel laughing with him in the halls. Kel eating with him. Kel scolding him. Kel beating him to a bloody pulp in the practise courts. Kel dancing with him at that night's ball.  
  
Maybe Kel could help him sort out his problem.  
  
What he thought was fair would be annul his marriage with Yuki. They hadn't consummated their 'love', so really they should just end their relationship. . . but it would make his scandal.  
  
In two words he could tell anyone why that would be so terrible: His father.  
  
Duke Baird was a nice guy and a good father, but he hated scandals. They were his pet peeves and no matter what Neal did, he could do it so long as there was no scandal. That didn't exactly leave him much choice.  
  
He also knew that requesting an annulment would wound Yuki's pride. As a Yamani, she had a very strong sense of it (pride, that is) and he knew the idea would just make her angrier.  
  
He really hoped that as a woman, Kel could offer him some advice.  
  
Kel was outside practising jousting like usual. Peachblossom was being exceptionally good, so her mood was good. The night before was forever replaying in her mind, but she tirelessly tried to block it out. She needed to concentrate or she'd get buffeted.  
  
Something about Neal last night made her feel edgy. He kept looking at her, as if he were surprised that she existed. And then he kept studying her face, as if he wasn't quite sure she was who she'd always been. Kel.  
  
'Speaking of which. . .' Kel muttered under her breath. Low and behold, Neal was walking towards her, a small smile on his face.  
  
"Hey Kel! Come down off of that monster and talk to me."  
  
Kel turned Peachblossom around to his chagrin, and dismounted. She walked over to Neal apprehensively. Neal, sensing her hesitance said, "Don't worry. I won't bite. Which I can't guarantee Peachblossom over there won't do." As if on cue, Peachblossom stretched his neck forward to bite him, but Kel quickly seized the reins.  
  
"Why does he hate me so?" Neal asked, eyeing the big gelding wearily.  
  
"He recognises a threat when he sees one." Kel retorted. Neal raised his eyebrows but said nothing.  
  
"Is there a reason you wished to speak to me Sir Meathead? I do have things that need my attention." Kel said impatiently.  
  
"Yes, yes. I wanted you to come help me with my sword work. I need practice."  
  
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I swear I just heard you willingly volunteer yourself to physical activity. Trying physical activity, at that."  
  
"No, that's what I said." Neal confirmed solemnly. Any sacrifice was worth it to get advice from Kel who was staring at him blankly.  
  
"Who are you and what have you done with my Nealan?" Kel asked him slowly, looking around for the real Nealan of Queenscove.  
  
"Your Nealan, eh? I think I like the sound of that." Kel just snorted disdainfully.  
  
"Oh come on, Kel. Please? For your Nealan?"  
  
"Fine. But on one condition," Neal raised his eyebrows inquisitively. "You have to never mention I called you my Neal, ok?"  
  
"Fine. But I won't forget it." Neal winked, leaned over and patted her on the shoulder. Kel just shook her head and mounted Peachblossom again.  
  
'Imagine that. Neal wants to practise swordsmanship. . . What is this world coming to?'  
  
There was a brisk knock at the door. Neal, thinking that it was Kel, walked over to the door and opened it. Standing there was Yuki. His lovely and angry wife.  
  
"Hello, dear. I wasn't expecting you." Neal said politely.  
  
"You very rarely are. I wanted to see what our dinner plans were for tomorrow. We so hardly ever go out anymore." Yuki replied in what would have been a whine had her voice not been so flat and emotionless.  
  
"I rather think that's due to the fact that you've refused to say a word to me for the past few weeks."  
  
"Look, Neal. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to be angry," she said with a sigh.  
  
"No, I understand. I don't want you to be angry either. Anyway, do you mind if I bring Dom along? He's my cousin. We were planning on going out for a drink, but I'm sure he'd love to meet you."  
  
"Absolutely. I wouldn't want to be rude." Of course, this meant that she didn't really want Dom to come along, but Neal ever so conveniently didn't pick up on the hint.  
  
"I'll come by your bed chambers at 8 and we'll go to The Dove Inn. They've got great food."  
  
"I shall be awaiting your arrival." Yuki said blandly as she saw Keladry of Mindelan walking to Neal's door.  
  
"Meathead, are you ready for your sword practice? I only have one bell to do this." Kel said, shooting a glance over at Yuki. Yuki stared back, her face Yamani smooth. Kel's face immediately took on the same expression.  
  
"Neal, don't be tardy."  
  
"A tardy knight costs lives." Neal and Kel recited at the same time. They looked at each other and chuckled slightly.  
  
"Don't worry Yuki, I'll be there at 8. Good night." Neal said. Yuki glided back towards her own bedchambers and Kel walked into Neal's. Neal shut the door behind her.  
  
"Kel. I need your help."  
  
A/N: Oh. My. God. HOW DID ANYBODY READ THIS STORY BEFORE? It was so LAME! I should have gotten a bazillion flames. Maybe I should flame myself. . . 


End file.
